His Ways are not our ways...

Many people have become aware of Braxton through his passing, but may not know how he came to our family and how God worked in such a mighty way to bring him to his forever family, even if just for a short time.  We were introduced to him in 2012 before we traveled to China to get Sarah.  I have prayed for that little boy for a very long time!  God spoke to both Jerry and I and confirmed time and time again that this is the child he wanted us to have.  I have questioned why God would open so many doors and allow us to bring this child home for an outcome that seems so wrong.  We were not so naive to think it would not be hard, we knew he was VERY sick, we were fully aware of the commitment, doctor appointments and surgeries that would be needed.  We were fully prepared to do anything possible to watch Braxton continue to grow and develop into the young man I envisioned.  God had a different plan.  I don't know why, I don't agree with it – but I do believe “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9

One month ago today my sweet precious little Braxton went to be with Jesus.  While it feels like a year to me I was thinking today that it probably only feels like a millisecond in the grand scheme of eternity and to Braxton.   My heart aches and I catch myself thinking people should be quiet in the house because Braxton’s asleep.  I feel empty when sitting at the table and he is not there.  While the pain is still so very real – we have seen so much love from people through this experience.  I know not everyone that goes through a loss has the love and support that has been shown to us – it’s been humbling and amazing.

I am so thankful for the time I had with him, I miss him, but I know he is rejoicing with the King of Kings and we celebrate Easter – he is there in his glory!

We were very fortunate to have family pictures made with Braxton, I will be posting more pictures soon.

Two Months Home, Two Years Old, Too Cute!!

Two months ago today we officially became Braxton’s parents.  It was a very emotional day, when we got Braxton he was extremely delayed (more than what we expected) and we definitely did not expect to get home and find out that he was severely malnourished and neglected.  This is a child that we were introduced to during the process of adopting Sarah.  Love Without Boundaries had begun raising funds for her surgery and when we made the decision to have her surgery the money was reallocated to little Braxton.  He was only 10 weeks old at the time and the orphanage staff was not sure he would even make it.  After surgery he stayed at a healing home. 

After we came home with Sarah we continued to check in on Braxton and found out that he was not up for adoption.  When asked why he was not up for adoption we were told because they did not think he would survive.  Thinking that he would just sit there until he died was not something Jerry or I could live with.  We pushed to get him paper ready (available for adoption), so we could get him the care and love he needed.  The whole process took about 7 months.  It was amazing the doors that God opened and the speed at which we were able to get there and get him.  When we saw him – it was VERY clear.  Braxton was very sick and needed attention right away.  The hardest part of the whole experience has been hearing over and over again that he has been severely malnourished and neglected.  

When we got Braxton we had lots of concerns, he could barely hold his head up, he was very blue, dark eyes that were sunken into his head, very small, no muscle tone, very small body and large head. We immediately started looking into syndromes that he could have.  I was convinced that it was more than just his heart condition.  We started seeing doctors as soon as we got home, they all had concerns – that is when we started learning the degree of malnourishment.  We were told by cardiology that there was a good chance there would not be anything they could do for Braxton.  They started talking about possibly a heart & lung transplant, but there were few hospitals that would even perform this and the outcomes are not very good.  After a 4.5 hour heart cath we learned that God has very different plans for this little boy.  He was, to their surprise, a candidate for surgery. 

In the two months Braxton has been home he has gained almost 2 lbs., he quickly learned how to sit up unassisted, he can scoot around, he can ride his little car and push backwards with his feet, he can roll over (both ways), he is learning to feed himself and go from sitting to lying by himself.  It’s amazing the accomplishments he has be able to make in just the short two months he has been home.  He has been seen by his cardiologist, heart cath cardiologist, hematologist, genetic specialist, nutritionist, gastrointestinal doctor and pediatrician.  It’s crazy, but each time they think he could have another issue / syndrome, the results come back negative.  God has protected this little baby and while I feel like he was set aside to die, we have the joy of being his parents and watching miracle after miracle and know that he will have an incredible story to tell one day. 

His heart surgery will be major, but I so look forward to getting it fixed and watching him continue to grow and learn new things.

We celebrated his second birthday tonight and I am so in love in this little boy – he is amazing…

Many of the things here are very hard to hear and comprehend, however it’s the truth for millions of children all around the world (many even worse than Braxton’s conditions).  It’s easy to talk and look at the good parts of adoption and look at how sweet and cute they are – but there are many, many children that need much prayer and a forever family that will give them the love and attention they so desperately need!  There was a statement in Max Lucado’s book Outlive your Life that really challenged me and is a big reason we ever looked into adoption – God does not call us to change the world, but he does call us to do something – what are you doing?  For us God has given us the ability to adopt and love these children, but your calling may be completely different, but you are called to do something.  I just ask that you pray about it, it changed our lives!